Wednesday, July 8 ♥
....
Finally have my own lappie back!!! So happy!!!
Ah, the freedom of being to go online and use the comp any time I like ~ bliss-nyaaa!!!
Anyways a lot has happened over the past year that is not mentioned here - I dunno, I just did not feel like talking about them...
But when I first got my latop back last week, I had this sudden urge to talk about all the things that I've been meaning to, well, talk about - the search for a job, the interviews, my job now, what's happened since, trips to london and what I did for my annual leave (ya lar, lest people think I have no life leh)...
But then again, I got too lazy to do so - maybe it's coz there's too much to share and I don't know where to start gua =p
Anyways, promise will update soon, ya?
In the meantime, let's savor this BEAUTIFUL picture of my darling baby!!! (pity her hair's so much shorter now - mum says it's easier to manage T^T)
NEVERMIND, STILL GORGEOUS AND PRECIOUS AS USUAL!!! XD
Monday, June 1 ♥
Off sick
Miss the the cold weather and the freaking snow - it's too effing hot nowadays!!! Which is probably the reason I had a freaking sore throat! That, and also coz I drink less water nowadays...
Anyways, had a very painful sore throat and was a bit feverish when I went to bed last night. Decided to sleep it off and go to work anyways.
Woke up at 6am this morning and my freaking sore throat is worse. Damn painful until cannot swallow. Could not even find the strength to go shower and the thought of enduring the bus ride to work was definitely NOT appealing.
So went back to sleep. Woke up at 9am and called in sick.
But the good (bad?) thing is I'm feeling much better 4 hours later (now la). Must be the Difflam and Pei Pa Ko that I've been stuffing myself. So technically, could have gone to work, but was worried that it might get worse coz there my body has the tendency of morphing a sore throat to a raging cough and fever lasting 2 weeks. My first ever sick day off from work - feel so guilty ><
Oh, well - what's done is done so might as well relax at home. And the better news is, I'm off on holiday tomorrow! Ah, a nice 5 day weekend!
And, and... I'll work for another 2 days next week then will be off again on annual holiday for the rest of the week and the whole of the week after that!!! =p
But the sad thing is I can't go travel abroad anywhere - my plan to go to Barcelona/Dublin/Belfast/anywhere is kaput-ed as the boyfriend's PSW application got rejected and no one else to teman me go hol =(
And the worst thing is, the application was rejected just coz there was one week missing from his bank statements!!! Stoopid kerajaan British sengaja mau tipu duit la coz now he has to apply again for a further £500!!! *heart pain*
Okay, very da random. Stopping now. Gonna go drink lotsa water and rest.
Ciao.
ps: so chamz, mouth itchy wanna makan but all the food at home is very da heaty and dry T^T
Tuesday, May 26 ♥
Culinary genius from yours truly
Haven't been to London since CNY so were desperate for some nice egg tarts.
Bought some from Wai Yee Hong, the big Chinese supermarket here in Bristol (which is nohwere as nice as See Woo in Reading coz they do not stock yee mee - something which I have been dying to have since forever T^T), that were NOT good at all.
So attempted to make some myself. Went online to search for recipes. Then put bits and pieces together to suit myself.
Here's the result:
The first time, I tried with some cheap Yorkshire pudding which turned out not bad except for the fact that the fillings leaked through the pudding.
So the second time around, I made little aluminum foil to hold the filling in but it still leaked out.
Tried the third time with proper tart shells (ready-made ones coz I'm too lazy and lack the tools to make the pastry myself) but then I kinda put the heat on too high and was distracted by a movie so they turned out burnt. Even though it smelt dammmnnnn good and the filling did not leaked out!
Am quite sure I took photos of the burnt tarts - but cant seem to find them anyway -.-
Anyway...
Finally, fourth time's the charm!!! People who are closer to me know that 4 is my lucky number and this just goes to prove that it's true =p
See, see - so niceeee, right?
I'm a freaking genius, that I am =)
ps: will try to make the pastry if the mood hits me one day but in the meantime, i shall contend myself with the lazy girl's way ><
pps: need to get a nice good camera and practice my photo-taking skills to properly enhance the superb-ness of my culinary talent - do i hear any offers? XD
Thursday, May 14 ♥
La~la~la~
I miss home. The family. The home. The friends. The food. The social life. The freedom.
Here in the UK, although I'm living away from home with the parents halfway around the world, I find that I am more restricted than I ever was in Malaysia.
I am stuck in freaking Bristol where I had to endure a fucking 15 minutes shouting competition between a pair of drunk mother and son, who kept repeating the same things over and over again, in the fucking bus where there is nowhere to run. I have to take a stoopid 3-hours-minimum trip every freaking day to work and I have to run after buses every other day.
Not only that, I have to listen people yakking their mouth off on the phone arguing their freaking points in their annoyingly squeaky high-pitched voices for 25 minutes - and then, I have to put on a nice smiley tone to speak to the next caller on the phone (okay, I hate the first much so much more than the second one - in fact I don't mind the second part). I'm fucking stressed and tired with work. It's easy to switch off for the short time I'm at home and during weekends but the stress will always come back the next working day. Depressing.
I want to realise my dream to travel the freaking Europe when I'm here but I am somehow bound to this place. I want to get out and explore but yet I hold back - for what I really don't know.
Maybe it's because every single day is a fucking routine - even fucking weekends!!! It's not like I'm restricted in any way to seek adventures but I have just grown so used to the fucking routine that I just follow it blindly. Or maybe it's the age showing - as I grow older I become even more resistant to changes and more reluctant to break away from the normal course of my daily life.
Heck, even a trip to Cardiff has been postponed for over a month now when it is just a short train ride away!!! I'm so tired at the weekends that I just want to laze around or just go to town, rather than exploring a different town.
It makes me feel really melancholy sometimes to think that I am slowly losing my purpose of staying on in the UK - travel and/or make money. I am not freaking traveling every month - maybe I should. I am not making shitloads of money - decent enough but with the fucking bills and all, I'm not left with much.
It makes me wonder what is the purpose of my life. I am quite sure that I'll head back home at the end of next year- most likely. And then what? I don't want to be a fucking lawyer. So what do I do? I want to continue studying and travel for as long as I can. But the reality of life, the expectation of my parents and my responsibility as the oldest to set an example tie me down.
It doesn't help that I have practically no friends here - nada, zilch. There's no one to hang out with, to plan trips with, to travel with, to chat with, to shop with and to do girly things with. Most times, I hypnotize myself to think that it's not thattt important but there are just moments where the solidarity lifestyle of a recluse gets the better of me. No man is an island, how true that is.
And it definitely does not help that I have been without a fucking laptop for, what, close to 6 months now. I've lost the link to a lot of dear friends, especially the people who I've promised emails for ages.
But then again, it's my fault for being kiamsap and not willing to fork out moolah to get one. Also to blame is the blardee pride who will not accept the parents paying for a new laptop. It is especially my fault for not making more of an effort to keep in touch - but sometimes it just take too much energy and in the midst of all these, I really can't and don't feel like going that extra mile.
Sometimes I just want to fuck all this and go home. But I owe it to myself and to my dear loved ones who have the faith in me to prove that I can make it here.
I want to break away but I can't make myself. At the end of the day, the problem lies with me. I am the one making life miserable for myself. Maybe I am a sadomasochistic who enjoys seeing myself suffer. Disgusting.
So yes, what was meant to be a random rambling post has turned into a self-incriminating one to rant out. For those of you who think that life is rosy for me, well it's not. I know it's a bit of a poor-little-me post but we all have our moments so leave me be.
I'm hoping for a reprieve from all these dark thoughts that haunt me at random moments. I'm too tired physically and mentally to fight them.
Monday, May 4 ♥
Hola!
It's been a while since I posted anything substantial here at all. Truth is, I have nothing much to talk about really. That, coupled with the lack of gung ho to blog, results in the lack of posts of late.
So what's new? Nothing much, really. Life has been pretty much routine and boring and non-eventful.
Every weekday I wake up at 6am, shower, dress, get on bus 48/49 or bus 5, go to the bus station, get on x39, read the newspaper, catch a short nap, walk to the office, sit down at my workstation, turn on the computer, log on the phone, get a (free) drink, sit down to sift through emails and outstanding diary, get to work, blog-hop (in the few that I can actually access to in the office) and surf a bit while waiting for the other side to pick up the phone or when I was just damn bored, lunch which consists mostly of more surfing or aimless walking around town for some fresh air, get back to work, wait for the clock to signal the end of the day, pack my stuff, clear the table, walk to the bus station, get on bus x39, reach the bus station, play mobile games or read while waiitng for bus 342, get on the bus, reach home, change, cook or chill while someone cooks, eat dinner, rest for a bit, shower and sleep - then the next morning, the whole cycle begins again for another 4 days.
Weekends are not that much different. I either stay at home the whole day just resting and cooking or I go to town
occasionally for a breather.
I realize I've lamented the lack of excitement in life at least a couple of times already but really, this just goes to show how freaking boring and monotonic my life is.
Not that I'm complaining. Not really. I have a job which pays not much but affords me the independence and ability to take care of myself. I'm not dreading the CLP finals nor am I wringing myself with worry over the result of my BVC Final Assessment.
Instead, I go to work, do my job and I can switch off (literally) after 5pm and worry about the rest of the unfinished tasks the next day. So that's good... right? At least, I like to psyche myself to think this way.
Life is what we make of it, after all.
**************Actually, the sombre tone of the above does not match the freaking title. So I'll change the topic and talk about something less depressing.
Now, let's see... Oh, right! It was my freaking-very-much-dreaded birthday like two weeks ago!!! So exciting, right? Actually, no. It only means that I'm another year older. Another year nearer to the big 3-0 *eeekkkk*
But nonetheless, I've had a special day thanks to a very special someone who went out of his way to make it a memorable one for me and for that I am very grateful and touched. It would have been a sucky non-event (as always), had it not been him. Got lotsa little surprises and gifts from him =)
Mummy and Daddy made my heart melt especially, since they woke up earlier than usual just to wish me at the stroke of midnight UK time and they kept on pressing me to buy anything I want and charge them for it *touched* But the perils of working is that I am damn paiseh to want anything from them la so I RELUCTANTLY declined ='(
A special thanks also to all those who wished me via Facebook (esp from Viv who always say she cannot rmbr anyone's birthday at all), smses (all the way from Malaysia, even), calls (even from lil bro in US but I missed his call =p) and cards. Even my colleagues/team members at work chipped in some money to get me something (yes, I went to work on my freaking birthday).
So all in all, it was not bad. But the fact remains that I am now officially twenty-freaking-three!!! Damn old, ok? Recent conversations that attest to this:
Hey, can you imagine, now when we think back at the time when we were 18, we actually have to say 5 years ago!!! Can't imagine that it has been so long ago when we're still in our teens...
Well, it's better than saying 'Half a decade ago, we were 18'
!!!
Eh, can you imagine Jay Chou and Wang Lee Hom has been around for 10 years?
Not surprising what - they're been around since we were in high school.
But 10 years!!! Got so long meh?
Well, if we count back, 10 years ago we were 13 and in high school, so that's about right lo... Not like a few years back already when we can always count back and say we were in primary school or kindergarten...
Seriously, we
are that old!!! So sad!!! T^T
**************Okay, why am I talking about depressing things again? Think about more cheery stuff.
Hmmm...
Oh, I'm on bank holiday today - so no work!!! Woohoo!!!
If only UK has more public holiday... Siao gila, only three bank holidays, New Year, Christmas, Easter Monday and Good Friday are official public holidays -.-"
That's all for now, kinda lost track of my thoughts dee and ended up rambling like usual.
Anyways a big HELLO to everyone and I miss all of you!!! Sorry for the yet-to-materialise emails I've promised. Have been too tired and stressed this past months to actually get the mood to sit down and write to you all. But I will, promise!!! Until then, take care!!!
Muaxxx <3
